I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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