fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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