Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
