Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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