Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
