Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
