ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize