i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You need a sexual gate keeper
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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