Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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