Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
