toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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