dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
