ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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