Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize