No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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