How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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