its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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