Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's like heaven, but drunker
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
