Who wears a wallet chain?!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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