would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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