A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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