so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
