last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
