oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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