that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
