Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
