it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to be your penis for a week.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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