Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
