Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
