ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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