Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
