I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
