and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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