i may or may not be watching the land before time
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
