My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i think i just lost a toe
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
