do herpes really smell.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
