hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
