I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
