Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
