Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Come on in and take your pants off
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