You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
