Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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