So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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