White coat. Heels.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
