I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
