I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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