its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
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Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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