Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
