I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
