so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
