Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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