I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
