all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
