i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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