theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
