not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Dick very happy bro
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize