Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize