She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
