On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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