Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
