she takes plan B like it's going out of style
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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