What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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