He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
