he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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