That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
